Calgonit veranderd in -> Kangewooniet liever een gat in je tong, dan je tong in een gat je weet pas dat je echt van iemand houd, als je niet meer "IK" kunt zeggen, maar altijd "WIJ" zegt. Wie echt van zichzelf houd, hoeft nooit over zichzelf te praten. Als je echt in jezelf gelooft, is het onnodig om in jezelf te geloven. Wie echt goed is, hoeft dat niet te laten zien. IK: Interresante Kerel "logo van Komo plastic zak, met het woord Homo in plaats van Komo" een date is net als een sollicitatie, behalve de CV. TEAM: Together Everybody Achieves More SYSTEM: Save Yourselfs Some Time Energy Money celebacy is not hereditary beauty is only skindeep, ugly goes to the bone never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference friends come and go, but enemies accumulate the other queue always moves faster anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought the chance of a slice of bread falling butter side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet never sleep with anyone crazier then yourself the repairman will never have seen e model quite like yours before a short cut is the longest distance between two points anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules in order to get a loan, you must fist prove you don't need it Yeah i'll go home with you, but mum said i'd have to be home at 11 o'clock. (nike logo) Just UNdo it. Maria en jozef arriveren bij de herberg, en vragen of ze de nacht daar kunnen doorbrengen. zegt de herbergier: "ik zit al vol voor het miillenium". (adidas logo, waarbij de schuine strepen op golven lijken) All Day I Dream About Surfing. Make love, not war. Start here! Niemand kan ontdekken of ik gek ben, mijn persoonlijkheid veranderd elke 2 dagen. Als je dit in het openbaar leest is mijn t.v. kapot. Let me touch your head. Let me touch your neck. let me hold you. let me put my lips on you. Let me enjoy you. with my hand on your body. oooohhh i love my botlle of beer. Treat other the way you wanna be treated. have sex with everyone. (plaatje van een nul) + (plaatje van een riem) = (plaatje van een nul met een riem eromheen). Geld maakt niet gelukkig, maar gelukkig maken ze geld. How Long is a Chinese. Just in case i'll get to drunk to talk, i'll let my shirt talk for me. god=dog live=evil star=rats kid=dik Nutritional information: Ingredients; water, mince, bread. blood, preservatives, flavour. Serveertip: heet en naakt in youw bed. of Serveertip: overgoten met chocolade. slaap jij op je buik? nee? mag ik er dan op slapen? Als een baby kon praten zou het zeggen: Hmmm het is hier donker. I'm guilty until proven innocent. Als een oven kon praten, zou die zeggen: ik ben heet. Beautiful is spelled: Y O U. In geval van morsen, lik mijn shirt. Ik drink niet, rook niet en vloek niet. godverdomme... valt mijn sigaret alweer in mijn biertje. Zelfs een kapotte klok staat goed 2 keer per dag. (bordje met: Men at work) text: Men At Play. Your mamma is so hairy, she even sounds like a wookie. I love working(/sporting), I can watch it for hours. Shoes are awesome, they carry you on there back the whole day long. BULL SHIrT What is starbucks + hooters? A C cup capucinno. 6 pack= 1.98 Liter Fust= 60 Liter. Ik kies voor de fust in plaats van de 6-pack. There are 2 kind of people in the world. 1. those who drink beer. 2. those who don't drink beer. And then there are women. Mijn telefoon staat op vibreren, dus.... BEL ME!! So you are from Hungarie? You must be Hungry People. (superklein lettertype)Haha... made you look. Liever een gat in de muur, dan een muur in mijn gat. I'm Santa Claustrophobic. My vacuum cleaner sucks. Yes, you look gorgeous today, i swear to god! to bad i'm an atheist. gymNASTYcs An air-compressor would say: I blow for money. (plaatje van een kat) Don't touch my pussy. In India they'll treat you like catlle. I'm president of the united limbs of my body. I love kegs. they're round, full of goodness, hard and better then a six-pack. Bless this mess. Life is like a box of chocolates. it's sweet at start, but you'll end up with a fat ass. I got lucky last night! I found 20 bucks. (tshirt met ogen op de plek van de borsten) Kijk in mijn ogen. I quit smoking, but it made me feel like a quiter. so i quit quiting. I like races... Especially the human race. I'm a fun guy(L). I'm a (f)athlete (plaatje van een spiegel) Your reflection is not available right now. we are sorry for any inconvenience. Collectors edition. I want peas. or I wish for peas. You can't spell disrespect without respect. you can't spell dishonour without honour. You can't spell disgrace without grace. You can't spell unlucky without lucky. I love Blowing... oops.. i meant Bowling. ik hoop dat god niet ontdekt dat ik een atheïst ben. Gratis prijs binnenin. I like sit-ups, but I prefer lei-downs. (with big letters:) NOW 30% OFF. Made of 100% recycled meat. 10 demands to join the force: 1 fail IQ test 2 pee next to a cup 3 score less then a "D" on school. 4 fail drug test 5 look crosseyed for 12 hours 6 fail drivers license 7 kill at least 20 people 8 fail health test 9 fail shooting range 10 eat more then 20 donuts a day feels like diying. "going out on a limb".... what else would i walk on? I would like to give it a go with you, but i'm  against animal cruelty. (logo van "pak 'n save") text: Grab 'n run. I'm running dry, fill me up baby. (logo van lost) text: found Happy hour 24/7 See no evil Hear no evil Speak no evil Fling no evil A true genius doesn't know the speed of light, but the speed of darkness. Beer is the answer, but what was the question. Junk in the trunk. the rest in the chest. what's left in the head. deja-view. (plaatje van een sigaret met een machine-geweer) Smoking Kills. Crumping=Cramping. Rub me and i'll grant you 3 wishes. Celebs are like flies, to fucking many of them. groot logo van PGR op een shirt. (groot logo van DANGER) text: I'm making an attempt to work. the worst day off, beats the best day at work. (plaatje van een rasta met levende dreadlocks) text: Night of the living dreads. BEEP... BEEP... BEEEEEEEEEP.............(plaatje van een flatliner) oops.. the microwave is done. Very bad karma= karmageddon. Ultimate transformer! (toilet logo "dames" met een pijltje naar toilet logo "heren"). Rumble in my jungle. I know you wanna be like me, but i've got copyright on it. If you can geuss my number, i'll give it to you. live=evil. Fisher-price MY FIRST T-SHIRT. Spoiled rich brat: Aristobrat. I'm never alone, i'll always have myself. There is no "I" in team..... but there is a "ME". plaatje van toilet logo "heren" als dwangbuis. An idiot thinks he's a genius, a genius thinks he's an idiot. you are= you're we are= we're who are= who're good from far, far from good. (plaatje van een sigaret)text: wanna suck me? sorry girl, you're bad for the environment. you give me local case of global warming. Ice is cool. men are like parking spaces; all the good ones are taken. only the bad and disabled are still available. make like a tree and leaf. make like a sheep and flock off. make like a tourist and go home. make like a bird and fly off. Mary had a little lamp with light as white as coke. wherever mary went, the light was sure to go. People ask the pope to bless their baby, by touching them. people go to prison for that.... It's better to have gambled and lost, then to have never gambled at all. Verschillende betekenissen van woorden: Vrouwen:                                                            Mannen: Misschien: nee                                                    Misschien: niet nu, ik kijk tv Nee: nee                                                            Nee: nee, tenzij jij ja zegt Ja: ok, deze keer mag jij ff gelijk hebben.        Ja: gaaf! Geld: winkelen                                                    Geld: zij gaat weer winkelen Je bent mooi: vieze hoer                                    Je bent mooi: sex? Lekker kontje: waarom ben ik getrouwd?           Lekker kontje: lekker kontje They say the best things are build on love! That's why i have a wife AND a lover. If WE get goosebumps.... what do geese get? exercise=extrasize (plaatje van een schoonmaker in supermanoutfit)   FIGHT GRIME (achter op je rug) Emergency exit (met een pijltje eronder dat naar beneden wijst) (kerstman in dwangbuis) Insanity Claus Jack the rip-offer een partner is als een klant. houd ze tevreden. zorg dat ze iets hebben om naar terug te komen. organiseer speciale dingen en aanbiedingen. je moet adverteren om er 1 te krijgen. je maakt minder winst als je zou hopen op ze. je moet een uitgebreid assortiment verkopen voor meer succes. MAAR.... als de dingen dan lekker gaan moet je niet arrogant worden en een keten openen! Betekenissen van PHD: Personal Hygiene Disfunction Phenomanoly Hard Dick Proffesional Head Doctor Ik ben mijn mama verloren.... wil jij mijn nieuwe mammie zijn? Sorry, I've got a strict "no dating" policy about ugly girls! (plaatje van kerel die onder een tap ligt) Beertender NERD Not Even Remotly Dorky Frustrated Frostrated Good guys finish last....... After the girl!! It's only cheating if she finds out. I like double d's, especially on my report card There's being right.... and there's being nice. Engagement ring Wedding ring Suffer ring The difference between women and men?? only the "wo" part. It's quiet after the speed of sound. I would give you a hand, but i need mine. Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. Those who admire the freedom of birds have never build a nest. Remember, you are unique.... just like everybody else. Money's not everything in life, but it does keep you in touch with your children. There are three kinds of people: the ones who learn by reading, teh ones who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire themselves to learn if it's really hot. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror. The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. behind every succesful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures succes through its stability to stick to one thing till it gets there. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. Time between slipping on a peel and smaking the pavement: bananosecond. Learn from the past - live for today - look for tomorrow - take a nap this afternoon. Anubody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. Take care of your body, i't's the only place you have to live. I was touched by an angel..... then i sued it for sexual haresment. Wow a chinees tattoo!! a few more and you'll look like a take-out menu. You'll always find it at the last place you look. You laugh cause my car aint fancy..... I laugh cause i just cut your brakelines. My misses aint to smart.... when her water broke, she called a plumber. If it's about sit-ups, a toilet should have a six-pack. Mind over matter: I don't mind, that you don't matter. (achter op de rug van een heel dik persoon een gevaren-verkeersbord met de tekst:) If you can't see my mirrors, i can't see you. I've got a hate/love relation with my bed. I hate to get out of it, and I love to jump back in. 8 wonders of the world: 1 Stonehenge 2 Colosseum 3 Catacombs of kom El Shoqafa 4 Great wall of china 5 Porcelain tower of Nanjing 6 Hagia Sofia 7 Leaning tower of Pisa. 8 Me! Kiss the crook Jesus turt= Holy shit. I've got a PH-DD Neice-Knees (bordje van de amerikaanse bus) This bus/Girl kneels on request. Cunning Stunts Stunning Cunts Love is like gold.... Nice and beautiful, but rare and with a great price. Love is..... Letting you watch the game during sex. <html> <font="aerial" size="21"> <P align="center"> I'm not a nerd </P> </font> </html> To many politicians none making right decisions. Opps.... I wore it again. EFTpos down here (pijltje naar beneden). Sorry but i don't date she-males. I know i'm ugly, fat, stupid, weird, smelly, strange, cross-eyed, bold, forever single, gay, cripple and brainless... But what are you. (voorkant) Mine is this big |------------------------|   (achterkant) That's a big tv man..... If you're girl is up for a warrant, check the oil. Don't say "glass half empty", but say "I need a refill". If she doesn't put out, put in. Don't be a tree and bark at people. Better to have lost and loved, then to have never fucked at all. Excuse of a drifter: I smoke... at least i don't inhale. Punk in drublic. Brother from another mother. I put a sock in my pants.... but putting a six-pack in my shirt doesn't really work. (adverteer bordje) Sex class for men: start 7.15. Exam 7.30. Up selling: would you like a house with that new doorknob? (plaatje van iemand die een scheet laat) Sorry i'm late, I stopped for gas. (plaatje van een gewei) I'm horny. Heb jij die VolksWagen Pass at? Met die spijker op de weg rijdt ik mijn Caddi lek. Wil jij in de Renault Mé gane?
hier komen leuke texten en opmerkingen die ik heb bedacht, of opgeschreven.
wat ik KAN vertalen vertaal ik naar nederlands, maar sommige dingen klinken toch beter in engels.
deze texten zijn bedacht als versiering op een T-shirt.

Je zou ze eventueel ook kunnen gebruik op MSN ofzo.
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